Anne Reid and Thelma Barlow
Season 3 Episode 3 | 58m 55sVideo has Closed Captions
Anne Reid and Thelma Barlow join Paul Laidlaw and David Harper for a trip to Oxfordshire.
Dinnerladies Anne Reid and Thelma Barlow join Paul Laidlaw and David Harper for a trip around Oxfordshire. Armed with a classic car and £400 each, the teams take in wartime artwork then compete at auction in Penkridge, Staffordshire.
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Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
Anne Reid and Thelma Barlow
Season 3 Episode 3 | 58m 55sVideo has Closed Captions
Dinnerladies Anne Reid and Thelma Barlow join Paul Laidlaw and David Harper for a trip around Oxfordshire. Armed with a classic car and £400 each, the teams take in wartime artwork then compete at auction in Penkridge, Staffordshire.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
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Learn Moreabout PBS online sponsorshipVOICEOVER (VO): Some of the nation's favorite celebrities... Why have I got such expensive taste?
VO: ..one antiques expert each... Oh!
VO: ..and one big challenge - who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices...
Answers on a postcard.
Oh!
VO: ..and auction for a big profit further down the road?
Oh, it's a wee bit funky!
VO: Who will spot the good investments?
Who will listen to advice?
Do you like it?
No, I think it's horrible.
VO: And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?!"
Well done, us.
VO: Time to put your pedal to the metal - this is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!
VO: Yeah!
VO: On this road trip we're enjoying the talents of two great British grand dames of the acting world.
A standing ovation please for good chums Anne Reid and Thelma Barlow.
I love you Thelma.
I know you do.
Put your other hand on the wheel, darling!
(THEY LAUGH) VO: Anne and Thelma together, of course, are best known for their parts in Victoria Wood's much-loved sitcom Dinnerladies.
The first time we worked together, wasn't it?
It's the only time we've worked together.
THELMA: One and only.
ANNE: Yes.
Maybe it was enough for both of us!
Yes, no, well I said to my agent, "Please don't".
"Don't please, God."
ANNE: "Don't ever..." THELMA: "put me with her again!"
"..put me with Thelma Barlow again," no.
VO: I don't think your agent's listening, darling.
I've a terrible feeling that you're going to come out of this day looking extremely knowledgeable and I'm going to look like a complete plonker.
I'm not!
Cuz you're just much smarter than me generally.
I'm not at all, for goodness sake!
So I don't, I don't want you making me look like a fool.
I don't know why you say this cuz I know nothing about antiques.
Yes, I know, you say that.
You say that about a lot of things!
Well, it's true!
VO: Anne spent the swinging '60s on Coronation Street before branching out to shine in a stunning variety of productions, flitting from popular comedy to serious drama, and she's just recently been snuggling up to Sir Derek Jacobi in the Bafta-bagging BBC drama Last Tango In Halifax.
It's exciting, isn't it?
I've never done anything like this before.
No, I haven't ever.
Ever.
Really thrilling.
My hair is going to be ruined, of course, that's the only thing.
VO: But who is Thelma Barlow?
Well, I don't really know.
(LAUGHS) Just kidding.
The charming Thelma spent more than two decades portraying treasured Corrie character Mavis Wilton.
I can't think what I've got that's old.
I've got a...
Except me as a friend, darling!
Yeah, yeah, you, you're the oldest thing I've got.
VO: She's a twinkle-eyed performance powerhouse.
This is lovely, this car.
THELMA: It is, isn't it?
ANNE: Oh, I see.
Do you think they'd miss it if we just... We could... Just take off!
We could just drive off actually!
We can head for the coast and a ferry, we'd be gone.
VO: Thelma and Louise, I mean Anne, are piloting a blue-bodied beauty, the 1985 Mercedes 280SL.
It's so beautiful, isn't it?
Yes, beautiful.
VO: Not as lovely as you two girls.
And they're getting into the mood for antiquity.
I've just had my ancestors traced.
THELMA: Have you?
ANNE: I might be royal.
Oh good grief!
And I might have... She's getting worse!
..high born ancestors.
High born?
Up in the attic?
VO: Every leading lady needs her stage door Johnny and we have got a pair of 'em.
David Harper is an auctioneer who's proud to say that his passion for antiques courses through his very veins.
I'm the purist, you're like the nouveau art... You're puerile.
Puerile?!
(THEY LAUGH) VO: While Paul Laidlaw's a canny Scottish antiques expert with a keen eye for quality.
A day like this, open-topped classic car, whatever it is.
Erm, OK, there's you, but we can't have it all!
VO: The chaps are driving a neat little number today, the 1968 Triumph Vitesse.
Saucy!
I'm loving the Vitesse.
Do you love the Vitesse as much as I love the Vitesse?
David, almost certainly not!
(THEY LAUGH) VO: Today they'll begin their buying in Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire, aiming for their auction in Penkridge, Staffordshire.
Storied Henley-on-Thames is of course the rowing capital of Britain, hosting the annual Henley Royal Regatta.
So let's hope some of that sportsmanlike spirit rubs off on Paul and David as they meet our right royal ladies of stage and screen.
Hello!
Hello there!
Hello!
Good morning!
Hello.
I'm David.
There we go, if he's getting kisses, I'm getting kisses!
VO: Lordy.
Let's get paired up then.
Who got the short straw?
Ah!
Who's getting me?
OK, well, I can reveal that poor Thelma's got the short straw because you lost Thelma and you've got me, I'm afraid.
Oh, I'm delighted!
Lovely.
Are we ready to go shopping?
PAUL: Right then, shall we?
ANNE: We are!
DAVID: Come on, link on!
THELMA: OK!
VO: Indeed.
Hooray!
Charity, or your chariot is this way.
VO: Newly minted twosome Anne and Paul are heading off towards their first shop.
I'll just have to follow my instinct, because I don't know anything about antiques at all.
OK. You do know that, darling?
I shall guide you.
We're a double act here Anne.
So we've got £400 to spend on up to five auction lots.
Right, jolly good.
Shall we?
Yes!
You lead the way Anne!
Come on, let's do this.
VO: With that decided, they're going into Henley Antiques and meeting dealer Simon.
Good afternoon!
Hello, good afternoon.
Hello, I'm Annie.
Hello Annie, welcome to Henley-on-Thames.
Hi, I'm Paul.
Hello, Paul, Simon.
VO: And you can call me Tim.
Anyway, you both better get browsing.
VO: To aid the search, Paul's trying to glean some info on Anne's tastes.
Do you, are you a collector Anne?
Do you collect anything?
I collect, erm, music.
Music?
Music.
What do you mean by music?
Sheet music?
Yes.
Well, yes, if there's a sheet music shop, I love that.
VO: There doesn't seem to be any sheet music to be had in this shop, but Anne has espied something which looks like it might ring true.
It's a pewter plate.
Circa 1700.
Ooh, I like that.
Yours for £45.
Well, should we have a little look?
VO: Pewter is a metal alloy comprising largely tin.
It was ubiquitous as a material for manufacturing everyday objects up until the 19th century.
I don't know why I like it.
I just do.
Something drew you.
Yep.
Something did.
I just think it's pretty.
I'd like it on my table.
And that one I like as well, that little one.
Well look at what you're buying into, something that's, what, 300 years old?
History.
Yes.
Yeah?
The mouths that that fed.
I know.
The conversations that went on around the table.
I know.
Isn't that amazing?
VO: It also bears some little marriage marks - the initials of the couple who owned it.
It's a real piece of history and priced up at £45.
I love the fact that you like it, and I don't think it's expensive.
OK. Are we looking at something we might want to buy?
Oh, gosh, you make the mind up darling!
VO: Dealer Simon is a pewter specialist so Paul's quite confident of its 18th century provenance.
But what sort of price could he let it go for?
You've found something of interest?
We have, yeah.
I just like it, it's just pretty.
Annie likes that.
That's all I go in.
My little dish.
Are we gonna buy this?
Alright.
Are we gonna... Alright.
Forgive me, I've got to haggle.
Can you give us a wee bit of a discount on that?
Well, £45 I had to sell it, but two crisp £20 notes and it's yours.
PAUL: Annie?
ANNE: Yes.
If I knew you better I'd kiss you.
Oh!
VO: So they've got their first buy in hand.
Pewter there!
Thank you very much.
Lovely.
Wonderful.
Our first purchase.
A little pewter plate for you.
There we are.
VO: Thelma and David, meanwhile, are getting chummy on their walk to the first shop.
So are we going to be a competitive team then Thelma?
THELMA: Oh, tremendously!
DAVID: Are we?
Oh, absolutely.
Are you very competitive by nature?
I didn't think I was till I went to a class for yoga and I found I was.
Yoga?!
A very wrong thing to do, to be competitive!
That's meant to make you calm and relaxed!
VO: So just imagine how competitive the road trip's gonna make her.
Golly gosh!
So we're really looking... Is this where we're going?
How about this?
Oh, I don't know.
It's a bit unusual.
Come on then, let's have a look in here.
VO: They're moseying in.
Owner Abbas presides.
DAVID: Hello.
This is... THELMA: Thelma Barlow.
Pleased to meet you.
THELMA: How do you do?
DAVID: Fantastic.
Oh, this is... Where do we start?
I recognize you!
Well let's just have a wander Thelma, come on.
We'll have a wander.
DAVID: (LAUGHS) THELMA: Alright.
VO: Before long Thelma's spotted something she thinks is quite cracking.
That is quite a pretty little thing.
And not one, something I would buy or use but it's an attractive little item.
OK, and, so why are you drawn to it then because it is just pretty?
Just cuz it's pretty I think, and attractive.
No other reason.
VO: It's a silver-plated egg cruet set comprising a tray, four egg cups and four spoons.
Because your butler of course... Of course!
..would deliver this to you Thelma, but he's going to carry it from one part of the house to another and what he doesn't want to happen, he doesn't want to lose any of those eggs, so the egg cups are fixed pretty tight.
Yeah, it's very pretty, isn't it?
It's really good.
VO: Mm.
It dates from the early part of the 20th century and bears the mark of maker Walker & Hall.
What date do you think it is?
Now it would have to be cheap, I've got to tell you.
Shall we get a price?
Yes.
OK. VO: Let's consult Abbas.
What would you like?
Just that.
What kind of price?
The best price?
The absolute best price, please.
£40.
In the cold reality of an auction, on a wet Wednesday afternoon, with no one there potentially, it has to be £10 to £20 as an estimate, so then you have to think "I've got to pay less than 10 quid."
VO: Abbas will do it for a knockdown £10, but devilish haggler David's not finished.
We're competitive, aren't we, Thelma?
We've got to beat the other team.
A fiver would be an absolute steal.
It would be a steal at a fiver.
You can have it for £5.
Oh, well let's shake his hand.
Oh, thank you so much!
Thank you very much indeed, thank you very much.
That's so kind, thank you very much.
VO: So with some very hard bargaining from David, they have their first buy and they're browsing on.
Thelma?
I'm hoping you're an expert in musical instruments.
No I'm not!
What is it?
It's a musical instrument!
Yes.
VO: It's this expert insight we rely on you for David.
What a lovely sound.
Hang on, I'm going to do that again, I didn't know how talented I was!
(EXTENDED NOTE) # It's a bit more, a bit more!
# Ooh, you've got a lovely voice.
Do that again, ready?
Ready?
Ready?
# A bit more!
# Beautiful!
Beautiful!
It's utterly gorgeous with its box but how much it is I don't know.
It's probably too expensive for us.
Might be.
Erm, Abbas?
Yes?
Can you give us an idea on this musical instrument?
ABBAS: Which one?
DAVID: This one here.
It's a flutina.
VO: It's a type of accordion popular in the 19th century, fashioned from rosewood and mother-of-pearl and complete with its original box.
But having already grabbed Abbas down to a tiddly price on the egg cruet set, can this fledgling bargaining tag team repeat the trick?
Abbas, what kind of money are we looking at here?
VO: Oh, be careful!
150.
Ouch.
Ouch.
Ooh, I think we'll have to leave the shop.
No, it's beautiful but it's a bit out of our range, isn't it?
A lot out of our range, I think.
It's going into auction.
It's a competition and I'm gonna ask you a question, do you want to see Thelma win this competition?
Yes I do.
Thank you.
£50.
VO: Crikey!
That's some discount.
But it is, as an object, it's absolutely delicious, isn't it?
THELMA: Mm, it is lovely.
DAVID: It's utterly delicious.
Abbas, it couldn't be 30, could it?
(EXTENDED NOTE PLAYS) It's beautiful.
Go in the middle - 40.
Yeah?
Thelma, it's over to you, what do you think?
Do you think we might get it for 35 if you look at him nicely?
THELMA: We can have it for 35?
DAVID: Has he said yes?
Yes.
He's brilliant.
VO: He certainly is.
Thank you very much, thank you very much indeed.
Yes, you're very kind to us, thank you very much.
Fantastic.
VO: So Thelma and David are already proving to be a deadly duo in the haggling stakes and they got the egg cruet set and the flutina for very little loot-tina.
Now, Anne and Paul are also still in sunny Henley and have made their way to their next shop, Tudor House, where they're meeting dealer David.
ANNE: Good afternoon.
DAVID: Hi, good afternoon.
How are you doing?
Are you alright?
ANNE: Hello.
DAVID: Pleased to meet you.
Pleased to meet you.
Paul.
I'm David, pleased to meet you.
David, it's good to see you.
VO: This shop's a jam-packed treasure trove full of thousands of items.
Best get hunting!
Wigs?
Do you want a wig?
Er, not yet!
I might be heading in that direction ultimately but at the moment... VO: That's a shame.
I think one of those might rather suit you, Paul.
While they search, Paul's quizzing Anne on her friendship with Thelma.
With regards to Coronation Street, did your roles overlap?
No, never.
We got really to know each other a lot just before Dinnerladies.
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Victoria Wood saw us together.
Right.
And then she said, "Would you like to work with Thelma?"
And I said, "No, but alright, go on."
Any competition between you?
I've got to ask.
No, she's one of my best friends!
So you really don't mind who wins this little trip?
I love her to pieces.
Oh, no, I love it.
No, no, I... No, I'm quite competitive about this.
Yes, I want us to win!
VO: Quite right too, Anne.
And she's soon spotted something that might help in that cause.
We used to have those when I was a little girl.
I think it's lovely!
PAUL: (LAUGHS) Your face lights up when you love things!
Well... That's the same look we saw with pewter!
Yes.
VO: It's a tea service.
It's likely fashioned of Britannia metal, another pewter-like alloy of tin, in this case plated with silver, and dating from the early 20th century.
There's no ticket price on it.
Eh, David, is that expensive?
How much do you want for a four-piece?
Something about £40, £40 to £50 for that.
Hm, yeah.
VO: That's too rich for their blood.
But David's got a proposal.
I know what we do, why don't you ask me if you can have it for £20?
Can we have it for £20?
Certainly, no problem, £20!
Would you like it giftwrapped?
VO: Anne dazzles him with her leading lady's peepers.
You're a star.
VO: And it's a deal done at £20, and they're continuing the hunt.
But hark!
It's a gorgeous building, look at the staircase.
If I'm not mistaken Annie our... What darling?
If I'm not mistaken, that's the dulcet tones of Mr Harper.
VO: Thelma and Paul have caught up with them.
ANNE: Oh.
Oh, hello!
I thought I heard your dulcet tones!
I wonder what that's for?
VO: Oh, be careful.
Come and have a sit down, we need a break anyway.
You're looking much too pleased with yourself!
Yeah!
No, I just think it's... What about this shop?
It's just... See this whole this morning, "I don't know anything about antiques!"
Go on!
I do know a bit more now because of David.
I know, it's fascinating, isn't it?
I'm learning as well.
It's great.
She's the best negotiator I've ever had.
Oh, shut up!
She's fabulous!
I'm wonderful as well, aren't I?
Of course!
Well, we know that Anne.
She can wrap these people round there.
Ooh!
You haven't seen this one do it.
VO: Well then, let this battle of the fluttered eyelashes commence.
You haven't got it yet.
No, we haven't, we don't want to fight it.
Those two are looking worried and I like it.
VO: To aid the search, David's keen to learn more about the lovely Ms Barlow.
Whereabouts in Yorkshire were you born?
I was born in Middlesbrough, Teesside.
God, I was born in Middlesbrough.
Were you?
Seriously.
You were born in Middlesbrough?
Yes!
Good heavens!
Isn't that amazing?
We make a proper team, don't we?
That's lovely!
Isn't that wonderful?
THELMA: Yes!
DAVID: Yes!
You don't meet... VO: I'm glad you proud northerners are bonding, but we're supposed to be looking for items, you know.
Oh, look, he's spied something.
Let me ask you what you think about him.
A handsome thing, isn't he?
No, I meant, not me, Thelma, the fish.
Yeah.
VO: Honestly!
It's a large wooden carving, late 20th century and carved from hardwood in an Oriental style.
You're not overenamored by him at all, are you?
No...
But if you think he's a jolly good... Well, I think he is jolly good.
I think he's got some good age, I think he's fantastically carved and it's certainly got quality.
VO: Ticket price is £75.
That's a little on the costly side so they're noting it and browsing on.
But David clearly has timber on the brain today as he's shortly spotted another wooden item.
What on earth is that?
The Egyptian looking thing?
It's just a box.
But it's very different.
THELMA: It does look... DAVID: It's very different.
VO: It's a hand-carved box or possibly a seat, rendered in an Egyptian style, perhaps dating from the 1950s or '60s.
To be honest, it's a little bit of a mystery.
I love it because we haven't got a clue what it is.
That's right, that's true.
Well, OK.
I don't think we can hide that one from those two.
Do you think they'd be drawn to it?
I don't think they might... THELMA: No!
DAVID: That's not very...
I don't know about Paul, you see.
I mean, he might see it as you see it.
He's a bit straight-laced.
Is he?
He's a straight-laced Scotsman.
Oh, right.
I don't think he'd be drawn to it.
He'd find it funky!
Yeah!
(SCOTTISH ACCENT) Oh, it's a wee bit funky!
God, I thought that was Paul Laidlaw.
That was absolutely amazing.
VO: Huh!
So they're definitely interested in the carp and the Egyptian box.
Downstairs to dealer David they go.
Will he prove as susceptible to Thelma's charms as he was to Anne's?
Do you think he's particularly good-looking, Thelma?
THELMA: I do.
DAVID: I do.
Fallen hook line and sinker already.
Have you?
Well, that would work if you said it to me, I don't know about him!
There's a very odd Egyptian-looking box upstairs.
Yes.
VO: What could he do on the price?
Would you do it for 30?
I could do it for 15.
DEALER: (INHALES DEEPLY) It's the girls, innit?
You're bringing the girls in here.
But no less than £20 I'm afraid.
Didn't he get to 15, or was that me?
I think that was you, but we could go in between the two, couldn't we?
If you promise not to tell Anne that you got something cheaper off of me than she did then perhaps we can make a deal.
I promise I won't tell.
VO: And neither will I.
Deal done at £15.
But what about the carp David's so very keen on?
My partner in crime isn't a lover of it.
So...
I mean, I would go along with it if you think it's a very good thing to buy for the auction.
And I'm not carping about it!
Oh, no!
VO: Oh, Thelma, you are a card!
If Thelma asked me very nicely if she could have it for 20 I'd probably say, "Yeah."
So do you think you could do it for £20 for us?
Well, I could do it for YOU for £20 Thelma, but not for US!
Story of my life.
Oh, cruel, eh?
I don't mind.
Shall we have him?
Yes.
Let's have a big fat carp!
Fabulous.
Thank you so much.
VO: Crikey!
Our experts barely get a look in when Thelma and Anne are around.
Dealer David is putty in her hands and she's two-one up in this championship flirt-off.
Well, I'm not even trying.
I didn't know I had this gift!
VO: So the other two had better up their game.
What is that?
Well, that is an extremely elegant magazine rack.
Edwardian.
What do you think of that?
Right.
It's pretty.
It is elegant, actually.
You would polish that?
Is that an oak base?
You're asking me?
VO: Allow me Anne, it's an Edwardian lacquered brass and oak magazine rack.
Ticket price is a whopping £85.
Oh, David!
What can I do for you?
What did we think of this Annie?
Help me.
I think it's very sweet.
I think it's very charming.
Rather Downton Abbey, we thought.
Well, yes, of course, that's where I got it from.
Downton Abbey?
Yes.
You got it from Highclere!
A day to Highclere!
You just walked out with it, did you?
I'm only joking.
VO: I think it's more Upstairs Downstairs personally.
I can probably help you with the price a little bit.
Halfway there.
Yes, yes, yes, yeah.
Eh, we can... She's doing it again!
Work that magic!
If I was...
Darling, if I was younger, I could really persuade you!
No, no, no, no.
I'm an old girl now.
No, we're not too far apart I don't think.
VO: Steady on you two, this is a family show.
Well, now that you've been charmed...
Mesmerized.
Mesmerized.
What can it be?
Can it be...
I know what it needs to be.
Would 40 be alright?
DAVID: That's half price.
ANNE: Oh!
That man took the words out of my mouth.
Mwah!
Thank you very much.
VO: Another great deal for Anne, and it looks like the charm offensive is a draw.
If today's proved anything, it's that dealers stand no chance against the wiles of an accomplished actress.
I wonder where I can get one?
Nighty night you lovely lot.
VO: But the show must go on and so must this road trip.
Well, this is the great, glorious British summer.
VO: Having spent the whole of their first day in Henley, they're all in their motor cars and traveling on - damply.
It's a bit wetter today darling, isn't it?
Oh, it is.
VO: And it turns out that dark horse Thelma's got previous in this trade.
I worked for an auctioneer in my pre-theater days.
ANNE: Did you?
THELMA: Yeah.
What did you do?
I was in the office.
I was a terrible secretary.
And, um... You never told me that.
Oh, well, there's a lot about me you don't know.
Still to reveal, darling!
Not here, darling.
VO: How intriguing.
I like a woman of mystery.
So far Thelma and David have spent £75 on four lots - the egg cruet set, the rosewood flutina, the carved wooden carp and an item that's probably a box and might well be Egyptian.
While Anne and Paul take the prize for spendthriftery so far, having shelled out a cool hundred smackers for three items - the pewter dish, the silver-plated tea set... ..and the Edwardian magazine rack.
# Played the ukulele as the ship went down.
# Oh, please don't.
That's a song.
Do you know it?
Yes, don't sing darling.
I won't sing.
I'd rather you didn't sing.
Alright darling.
Where are we going from here I wonder?
VO: You're going to meet Paul and David.
Two ladies!
VO: Ah, here they are.
PAUL: Right.
I'm getting dribbled on!
Brolly.
Good morning!
DAVID: Hello.
THELMA: Oh!
Round that side.
Oh, hello!
Hello!
Luckily for you, you can stay in the car.
Oh!
I can see!
VO: Oh, dear!
Come on, Mary Poppins, let's get going.
VO: Anne and Paul are motoring on towards Northend in Warwickshire... ..and chatting away like old pals.
I've got twin boys, six-year-old, and they are massive fans of Doctor Who.
Oh!
Would I be right in thinking you...
I did, you're absolutely right.
There was a lot of giggling went on that day, I hate to... David Tennant did not behave very well!
Oh-ho-ho!
Those things always make me giggle, you know, and you think, "This is no job for grown-ups".
VO: Neither's this, to be honest Anne.
Having acquired a good haul of items yesterday, they've decided to take their feet off the gas a little and spend this morning visiting a fascinating local collection relating to World War I.
My dad was in the First World War.
Really?
Yes.
I think he was in the Middle East actually, because he learned to speak Arabic.
VO: Between Anne's family link to the Great War, via her dad's service and Paul's great enthusiasm for all things militaria, they're certainly in for a treat this morning.
What an interesting wee building.
VO: They're meeting collector James Gordon Cumming.
ANNE: Hello.
JAMES: Good to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
PAUL: James?
JAMES: Paul?
Yes.
James.
Good to see you.
VO: Amassed over the last 15 years... (BUGLER PLAYS THE LAST POST) VO: ..James's huge collection numbers more than 1,300 items of trench art.
He's fascinated by these objects, crafted by people caught up in war.
These items were often handmade by servicemen fighting in conflicts, or by civilians affected by them so that they can be highly evocative of personal war experiences.
The objects are often fashioned from discarded war materials, such as shell casings or, as here, discarded fighter plane propellers.
Trench art was made during World War I and the post-war period.
It's very iconic of the First World War, you only really get it in this scale... ..because the First World War came slap bang in the middle of the arts and crafts movement and art nouveau and everybody was a craftsman and suddenly this 20th century warfare lands in the middle.
They have that ability to make things that they lost subsequently in the '20s and '30s.
Machinery came in and everything became more mechanized.
VO: This truly was a world war and trench art items can be found from many countries.
Now I recognize those as hailing from the Middle East.
That's Damascus-type work, isn't it?
Yes, yes.
This type of inlay, where they've inlaid copper and silver, is very peculiar to the Middle East.
These shells were actually made at the Bezalel School of Arts in Jerusalem.
Oh, my goodness.
But these are exceptionally nice and unusual things.
Lovely.
VO: Anne has a personal connection to the Middle Eastern theater of war in World War I and a fascinating link to a very famous name.
My father served in the Middle East as a young man.
He was supposed to be one of the soldiers who was connected with Lawrence.
Yes, TE Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia.
Yes, yes, one of the people who carried the money that he needed.
He was one of the links apparently.
Yes, TE Lawrence was providing support, financial support from England to the Arab tribes in order to help them and arm them to revolt against the Turkish occupation.
So, yes, he did a very important job if he was actually part of that funnel of money to Lawrence and the Arab troops.
VO: James is taking them to see an object that tells another personal story, that of a British fighter pilot, Frank Billinge, who flew in the Royal Flying Corps, the precursor of the RAF.
It's a clock fashioned from Frank's damaged plane propeller.
That propeller was on Frank Billinge's plane.
He was in the Royal Flying Corps, and he was flying in France and got attacked by three German Fokker planes.
That propeller actually got hit five times by German bullets, but didn't actually destruct and managed to bring him back over, over the lines, but in the course of that he was injured and sent back to England to recuperate.
VO: He was sent to a hospital for servicemen which had been set up in the grand former Hampshire home of Empress Eugenie, the exiled wife of former French Emperor Napoleon III.
And Frank was sent there with his injury and obviously they struck up a friendship and he had the propeller from his accident turned into that clock and presented to the Empress as a mark of respect to her and of friendship.
Oh.
What a lovely story.
Isn't it?
That's all written on our little silver plaque at the bottom.
Yeah.
That's a fantastic object and a great story, isn't it?
Yes, yes it is.
VO: How wonderful.
But having paid tribute to Anne's dad, and all the other brave men who served, it's time for them to be hitting the road.
James, thanks for having us.
That was absolutely magic.
A pleasure.
Thank you for coming.
ANNE: Thank you.
JAMES: Lovely to meet you, Anne.
Thank you.
And I'm glad we had a link with your father.
I know.
That was really nice.
Yes.
Thank you very much.
VO: Thelma and David, meanwhile, are in the Merc... Cor, what a day!
VO: ..and heading for the town of Woodstock, Oxfordshire.
VO: This attractive and historic town makes an excellent place to continue their buying, despite the weather.
We're gonna go in this one here.
OK. VO: They're dashing into Woodstock Art and Antiques, where there's a very warm welcome from dealer Michael.
Waah!
Hello, David.
Good morning.
DAVID: Hello.
MICHAEL: Welcome to Woodstock.
Thank you very much indeed!
Very, very wet!
Thelma.
Thelma.
Aw!
Pleased to meet you.
I'm pleased to meet you.
Sorry about the weather.
I know!
VO: Well, a browse should keep you out of the soup for a bit.
(GLASS RINGS) Oh, it's lovely.
VO: And some items are leading Thelma down memory lane this morning.
And this...certainly this reminds me of my great aunt.
One of our celebrations when I was in Coronation Street, we all got lovely carriage clocks, little clocks like that.
Did you?
Yes, I've still got, and you know, there's just a lot of things that tick with you.
VO: "Tick" with you?
Huh!
Sorry, but a pretty little something's caught Thelma's eye.
That's been here less than a week.
It is fabulous silver... VO: It's a silver ladies' calling-card case.
It bears a Birmingham hallmark, dating from 1915.
That is solid silver.
It's lovely.
It's very elegant.
It's very you.
Mm.
Erm, gilded interior.
So, solid silver with a gold-plated interior.
Isn't it lovely?
How much is to us, trade, Michael?
Got to pick up £90 on that, I think... Mm.
Mm.
..and maybe parcel it with another bit of silver, which has got a lot more to play with.
OK, OK. VO: David's not convinced at £90, so they're going to try to assemble a job lot of ladies' silver items, which Michael might be able to let them have for a more attractive price.
A fruit knife!
Lady's fruit knife.
Cased.
VO: It is indeed a lady's fruit knife, dating from 1924, in its original case.
Oh, that's a nice little thing.
That's gorgeous.
Mm, that's very nice.
VO: And he's got something else from the Jazz Age - a white metal chain mail handbag.
1920s... Mm, that's pretty.
..bag.
Er, you tell me what you think, Thelma.
I mean, I think it's lovely... You can do the Charleston with that.
Yes.
And I'm really, really going to help you.
I shall do the three for £80.
VO: All three for 80!
But David's still worried the lot won't perform at auction.
It doesn't get me overly excited on the profit stakes.
No.
VO: So Michael's generously offering to throw in another two silver ladies' gee-gaws from the early 20th century - a manicure tool and a little magnifying glass.
This is a little magnifying glass and so pretty.
Silver and enamel.
Oh, that's rather nice.
THELMA: Lovely, isn't it?
MICHAEL: Birmingham, 1934.
Oh... VO: So how much can he do this silvery mega lot for?
Take it up to 100 for the five...
It sounds marvelous and you've been wonderfully generous, but if you could do a little bit more, cuz...
I'll help you at 90, and that is gonna be it.
He daren't look at you.
Have you noticed that?
He daren't look at you.
I'm sure we got a deal at 90.
THELMA: There you are... MICHAEL: Right.
I've got to say, I think it is an interesting lot and it's a cracking deal.
It's a cracking deal.
Yes.
Well, thank you.
Are we going to say yes?
We're going to say yes.
DAVID: Go for it.
THELMA: Thank you so much.
The Thelma magic works again!
Thank you very much.
VO: So, they've got a sterling deal on all that pretty stuff, and David and Thelma are all bought up.
Ooh!
VO: Now, Anne and Paul are making their way onto Banbury in Oxfordshire... ..where they're aiming for Slade's Antiques and House Clearances.
Yes, fine!
VO: They're meeting dealer Ian.
Come on in, Annie.
PAUL: Hello there.
IAN: Hello.
Hello.
I'm Annie.
I'm Ian.
Nice to meet you.
Hi, Ian.
How are you doing?
I'm Paul.
Good to see you.
Hello there!
VO: Along with Cheryl and baby Isla.
Isla.
Hi, there, both!
ANNE: Aw, sweet.
PAUL: A happy soul.
VO: Ian specializes in house clearances, so this large warehouse is stuffed with boxes and boxes full of items.
And that's why what we're looking at, it's the contents of houses.
VO: This sort of place is exactly where they might find a hidden gem.
But combing through the stock is a daunting task.
Holy Moses!
I know, it's impossible, isn't it?
So much stuff!
I don't know where to start!
VO: Ooo, look who it is!
Another of Anne's Dinnerladies colleagues.
Is that Thora?
Yes.
Yeah.
Now Thora, point us in the direction of something really good, please, darling!
Thank you.
I remember that hat.
VO: And shortly, Paul's spied something.
Yeah, we've got small magic lantern slides.
There's eh... OK... Magic lantern... French.
A fair big... ..quantity.
It is a big quantity.
What sort of subject matters do we have?
That's a cracking label, isn't it?
VO: They're slides for a late Victorian magic lantern, bearing the images of engravings that would be projected onto a wall or screen.
This is what they had instead of television?
Yes.
VO: Well, let's all three of us hope they don't make a comeback then, eh?
Have you found anything... ..really interesting yet?
How are you working out prices on these?
To be honest, I haven't actually had the time to go through them all and that, but for the whole lot I'd want 200 or we can come to a price on a few boxes.
It's... Can you slaughter your price or are you gonna give me paltry little discounts?
No, I was gonna say, "Make me an offer".
Give you 50 quid, the lot.
Easy as that.
I'll take 100.
I'll take 100.
70 quid, cash, and we've got an... Oh, and I'll tell you something else as a sweetener, I promise we'll buy something else off you today.
Annie, Annie, work your magic.
Look...look the man in the eyes!
ANNE: No, he d... PAUL: Help me here!
He doesn't look like I'm his type!
Try woman, try!
ANNE: (CHUCKLES) What shall I do?
Shall I sing you a song to persuade you to come down?
£70, here on these, and I assure you we will make another purchase before we go.
Oh, go on, then.
PAUL: Good man.
Thanks, Ian.
No problem.
Thanks for the support there, compadre.
Thank you very much.
VO: The magic two-hander of hard haggling and star power does it again.
VO: And sheet music enthusiast Anne's spotted some keys.
Oh, it's a bit out of tune.
What about the vertebra?
Now, there's no age to that, but it's quirky.
Oh, gosh!
No... VO: Fear not, dear viewers, it's only plastic.
VO: Vertebrae!
Who wants a vertebrae?!
VO: Let's hope they've got the backbone to keep on hunting!
Huh!
VO: But there's something elsewhere that might spin them a profit.
Oh, this spindle.
Look at the spindle.
Spinning wheel, yep.
The spinning wheel.
That's quite unusual.
Do you like?
Yes.
I just think that's so unusual.
How much is that going for, that?
Be gentle!
IAN: Oh, sorry!
ANNE: Yeah?
That would have to be...£80.
Right.
VO: But of course Paul has another figure in mind.
At 40, I think it's there or thereabouts, from our point of view.
The best price I could do on it would be £50.
It's a big, striking object... Yeah, alright.
Stands out.
I would do that too, really.
PAUL: Yeah?
ANNE: Yeah.
Are you shaking Ian's hand?
Yep.
Thank you very much, Anne.
Thanks, Ian.
VO: Deal done, and it's time to be off.
Meanwhile Thelma and David are also all bought up, so they've traveled onwards to the environs of Moreton-in-Marsh, Gloucestershire... Oh, this is it, is it?
A bit tight.
VO: ..where they're visiting a centuries-old local landmark - the atmospheric Jacobean home, Chastleton House.
VO: A National Trust property, Chastleton is an incredible time capsule, transporting visitors back to its 17th century origins.
As Thelma is a keen gardener, they're definitely going to take a turn around the house grounds, but first they're going to learn a little bit more about what makes it so unique.
They're meeting Sebastian Conway, the house steward.
Hello there.
THELMA: Hello.
SEBASTIAN: Hi!
Welcome to Chastleton.
Oh... Are we going inside?
Please do come straight in, yes.
DAVID: Thank you.
THELMA: Thank you very much.
Do come into the Great Hall.
The Great Hall?
The Great Hall.
Oh, gosh!
It is a great hall, isn't it?!
VO: The same family owned the house for 400 years.
You can't believe this is just for a family, can you?
The chap above the fireplace, his name's Walter Jones, and he purchased the estate back in 1603, with lots of grand ideas that he'd marry his children into very good local families, and that perhaps the estate would continue to grow.
What did he do?
How did he get his money to sort of do this?
We're told he inherited quite a large fortune from his grandfather.
They were from Witney, they were wool merchants.
VO: But, sadly, the family's prosperous times were not to last.
Walter dies in 1632, to be sort of succeeded by his son and heir, Henry.
There seems to be a sort of marked decline, and over the subsequent three centuries, the family have really struggled to keep the house.
The estate has always shrunk.
VO: But remarkably, this meant that the house was preserved almost in its 17th century state.
The last lady who lived here, Mrs Clutton-Brock, she had a wonderful saying, which was that poverty was a great preserver - the fact they didn't have the money really meant there was no real other option to altering it.
When the National Trust became involved with the house, in the early '90s, and acquired it, it really presented with us this fantastic time capsule, which had been unaltered since the early 17th century.
VO: Remarkable!
Now a special treat for green-fingered Thelma, Sebastian's going to take them outside to see the gardens.
Do come through.
Oh, thanks.
VO: Sebastian is handing them over to his colleague, volunteer gardener Julie.
Hello, Julie.
David Harper.
Hello.
Nice to meet you.
Hi.
Nice to meet you.
And a beautiful, beautiful garden.
Look... VO: This garden layout, like the house, is a gently-faded echo of the estate's cash-strapped past.
It was laid out in the early 1600s, probably by the architect of the house, and it then never really changed much.
VO: The topiary shrubs here were once fashioned into precise shapes.
Like a ship in sail... Ooh.
..a teacup, a milk jug, a horse.
But over the last 50 years the family lived here, they got a bit big and out of shape.
You're trying to get them back to..?
We can't get them back to the original shape, cuz they're too old, but we like to kind of give a hint of what they looked like.
VO: Can David and Thelma guess what they were?
That one, to the right of the arch?
Oh...
It's a...
It's a...
It's a bust, a head on a plinth.
I was going to say it's a monster head.
No, it's a horse.
Oh, it's a horse!
Of course it's a horse!
Thelma!
VO: Yes, tut-tut, Thelma.
Of course it's a horse.
But this, for you, is fantastic, isn't it?
Oh, it's lovely.
In your element, aren't you?
Look how serene it is, it's just lovely.
And do you spend plenty of time still in the garden these days?
Oh, yes, I do, a lot.
And it's good, as you say, it's healthy, you're getting fresh air, and you're using, you're being creative, I think, which is another great thing.
VO: Indeed it is.
And the grounds have one other big claim to fame - the rules of croquet were codified here in the 1860s, by a chap called Walter Whitmore Jones.
So how about a game on the croquet lawn, to round off the visit?
I don't know the rules, I've no idea.
VO: Ha!
You've never let that stop you before, David!
Yeah!
Oh!
Almost!
That would've been fantastic!
Oh!
Oh, is it?
DAVID: Oh!
THELMA: Again!
Bad luck.
You've either got it, or you haven't.
Yes!
Yes!
Yep, and I haven't got it!
You haven't!
VO: Lordy!
Anne and Paul have caught up with them at Chastleton, and it's time for our dueling teams of mixed doubles to reveal their items to each other.
First up, Thelma and David.
Oh, dear.
Ta-dah!
(LAUGHTER) What?!
What?!
VO: They look...impressed?
What is... What's that?
DAVID: It's a box.
ANNE: OK. With a lift up lid...
It could be a seat.
It could be a seat.
It could be just something a bit unusual.
Just don't know.
It's a bit bonkers.
Fascinating.
VO: Not sure they're sold on that one.
And what is that?
Those?
This here is what we call... Oh, you'll love this, Anne.
You're so musical.
..in the business, a chest expander.
(EXTENDED NOTE PLAYS) Oh, I love it!
I knew you would!
I want that!
No, I'll have that.
Isn't that just utterly delicious?
ANNE: Can I?
DAVID: Go for it.
It's just beautiful.
Late 19th century.
Marquetry inlaid.
Oh!
VO: Sabotage.
You press one of these.
Oh, you press one of these.
Have you been teaching Anne some naughty tricks?
I know you!
No, I'm sorry, I didn't know I was supposed to press a button.
I apologize.
Press the buttons.
But if you don't mind doing it quite gently.
I will.
Press one of those?
Any one.
And pull gently.
ANNE: And that one?
DAVID: That's it.
(EXTENDED NOTE PLAYS) # La-ah-ah-ah-ah... # VO: At least they're in tune with you on that buy.
Lovely.
Now what else would you like to see?
We've got a collection of silver.
Yes, that's together.
That's the prettiest thing you've ever seen.
Is that, is that silver, the ring purse?
Yeah.
No, that's silver plate, or white metal.
The rest of it is silver.
All hallmarked apart from that item there.
Yes.
We spent roughly £20... No!
..for this, £20.
90 for the silver collection.
Wow, that's good.
But I think this is truly the star.
VO: Thelma's the star, David, but at £35 the flutina's pretty good too.
So that's us!
VO: Now for Anne and Paul.
We're still alright.
Oh, he's confident., I'll roll the drums now.
He's confident.
Here we go, here we go.
Oh, look!
Oh, ooh.
Totally different, isn't it?
ANNE: Totally different.
DAVID: Totally different.
Oh, yes.
I've got to put my glasses on, I can't see.
OK. Well, I can see a nice piece of pewter.
ANNE: Yes.
DAVID: A pewter plate.
That was, that was my choice, I picked that out.
Is that a spice dish?
It's quite old...
Yes, yeah.
Yes...
It's pretty.
It's got initials on.
Yes, here.
Yes.
What date?
200 years old?
Erm, it's 18th century and it could be mid or early, but it's 18th century, so I think 250 years is a safe enough bet.
Ooh!
Ooh!
How much was that?
PAUL: £40.
DAVID: £40, OK.
Right.
And what... here?
The biggest and most interesting collection of magic lantern slides I've seen in many a moon.
Oh!
Hmm.
Paid £70 for those.
OK. That's possibly cute.
That could make a £10 note or several hundred.
That's really nice.
If we're only making a tenner, your prayers are answered.
Yeah!
VO: Maybe, but what's behind you David?
ANNE: Ta-dah!
DAVID: I thought that's a prop!
I did!
I thought it belonged to the house!
I think there's going to be some profit here, both sides.
I think there's going to be some profit, yeah.
VO: Well, let's hope so.
Shake on the bargain, darling.
VO: Everything's very friendly when they're face-to-face... DAVID: Well done you.
THELMA: Oh, look at this!
VO: ..but do the gloves come off behind closed doors?
I would never have thought of buying those slides.
DAVID: I know.
THELMA: Cuz they don't appeal, they might make a fortune.
What else did they have?
The pewter plate.
The pewter plate, I loved that.
I like it, it's a pewter plate.
Is there anything on their table you would swap for something on our table.
Oh, no.
Absolutely not.
Even the stone daft carp?
VO: Come on now, don't be so coy.
I thought that box was... (INHALES DEEPLY) You'd really have to be a specialist really to want that.
I loved the little handbag and the little card case.
PAUL: Lovely.
ANNE: I'd like that.
Lovely.
Lovely.
And the squeezebox was...
I would like that.
What an exquisite little object.
I'm quite confident actually.
Are you?
Feeling good?
Yes, yes, I am.
VO: Sounds like everyone's primed and ready for battle.
Let's get at it.
VO: Today our pair of tussling twosomes have traveled from Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire, to end up here in Penkridge, Staffordshire.
VO: The ancient market town of Penkridge seems a fine place to set the scene for some selling.
VO: They're pulling up at Cuttlestones Auctioneers & Valuers.
Right, here we are.
There's plenty of people, Paul, plenty of people!
I'm gonna get my lady, you get yours.
Good morning!
Good morning, how are you?
DAVID: I'm raring to go.
THELMA: Oh, that's good.
Showtime Annie!
Showtime.
Just follow me.
Ignore these two, they're of no importance.
VO: Huh!
Someone's getting a little big for his britches.
Auctioneer Dave Eglington holds our teams' fates in his gavel hand.
Before the off, what does he make of their lots?
The Egyptian carved box seat could struggle a little bit.
Nice little pewter spice dish this, but it's a nice utility piece and it fits in with today's modern styles.
With the rosewood accordion, no musicians in my family, but there will be one or two in the crowd today.
VO: So it might be going for a song.
Thelma and David began the road trip with £400.
They spent quite a modest £165... # La-ah-ah-ah... # VO: ..and have assembled five lots for today's sale.
While Anne and Paul also began with 400 smackers, they spent £220 of that...
Please, please.
Certainly, it's a done deal.
VO: ..and also have five lots to show for it.
No!
No, no... No?
VO: It's almost time for curtain up.
On your marks.
I can feel the pressure building now.
Can you feel it?
Do you feel the pressure Annie?
I'm very pressured, yes.
I think I...
I think I'll have to go, I don't think I can stand the strain.
VO: First up are Anne and Paul's many boxes of magic lantern slides.
Will they light their way to a profit?
Fantastic bids in here, at £20 is bid.
VO: Ooh, low start.
22, 24, 26, 28, 30, 32, 34.
Any advance on £34?
Are we all done?
And I shall sell for £34.
VO: That definitely puts them in the shade.
PAUL: Oh... ANNE: Oh!
Aw.
VO: Now the first for Thelma and David as their entirely eccentric Egyptian-style box is up.
It's rare.
It's a nice one.
Really rare.
Very nice.
14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24.
It's 24.
Oh, more than that surely!
Any advance on £24?
£24 on the left with the lady.
It's a bargain!
AUCTIONEER: 26.
DAVID: Go on.
You'll never see another one like it.
Ever.
You'll definitely never see another one.
VO: There might be a reason for that.
Yes!
There's a fresh one, that's more like it.
£38.
Are we all done?
And I shall sell for £38.
Oh!
VO: It's a tidy profit and Anne is feeling the pressure.
I think acting is much less stressful.
I think I'd happily play Hamlet rather than go through this.
VO: To be or not to be... a profit, on Anne and Paul's pewter dish?
Straight in here at £22 is bid.
DAVID: 22.
It's gorgeous, I chose it!
(LAUGHTER) It was my choice, it's 1700 and something.
It's beautiful.
24, 26, 28, 30.
No?
At £30.
Oh, go on!
Come on!
Honestly.
VO: Crikey, it's not flying.
At £40.
At £40.
All done?
That's it.
It's beautiful with fruit on it, lovely!
VO: And they'll have to subtract auction costs from that.
Another chance for Anne and Paul to rack up some profit with their Edwardian magazine stand.
Fantastic bids in here, at £20 is bid on the magazine rack.
22, 24, 26, 28, 30.
30 away.
At £30.
Come on, keep going, keep going.
Am I all done?
And I shall sell for £30.
No!
VO: Sadly the punters' brass stays in their pockets.
I don't know what we did but it must have been very, very bad.
What?
VO: Now it's Thelma and David's expertly assembled job lot of ladies' silvery trinkets.
£30 is bid.
THELMA: The most beautiful lot you'll see.
32, 34, 36, 38, 40.
Come on.
A long way to go.
42, 44, 46, 48, 50.
At £50, with me.
At £50.
Oh, no!
55, 60.
At £60.
Come on!
65, 70.
75, 80.
At £85 in the corner.
£85 then.
At 85.
One piece is worth that, there's so much more!
Please!
Am I all done?
No!
AUCTIONEER: I'm selling for £85.
DAVID: No, no.
Oh.
VO: Oh, terrible luck.
That lot really should have sparkled.
There's another chance for Anne and Paul to shine now with the silver-plated tea service.
And the bid's in here, at £10 is bid.
At £10, at £10, any advance on £10?
12.
DAVID: That's it.
14, 16, 18.
£20 with the lady, £20.
22.
Yes.
£22 in the far corner.
22.
Any advance on £22?
PAUL: Gee 'em up, gee 'em up.
Oh!
26, 28, 30, 32.
DAVID: Yes, that's better.
ANNIE: It's so pretty.
36, fresh money.
Good!
All done then and selling for £36.
VO: Phew!
That finally serves up a steaming cup of profit.
It's the carved carp next.
Will it leave them swimming in dosh?
The bid's in here at £8 only.
THELMA: Oh.
AUCTIONEER: £8, 10.
DAVID: Thank you.
12, 14, 16.
18 is with you sir.
20.
Better.
Go on.
22, 24.
26, 28.
30.
Has somebody got a restaurant they can display it in?
At 32 with the lady.
At £32.
Go on.
Any advances?
With you at £32.
Carpe diem!
All done and selling for £32.
VO: Did I tell you the one about the profit they caught?
It was this big.
What do you think of Mr Carp now then, Thelma Barlow?
Mr Carp's maybe a little bit better than I thought.
Yeah, aye, aye.
VO: Now it's the 19th century contraption for Anne and Paul, but will it spin them a profit?
£20 is bid.
At 20, at 20.
Any advance on £20?
22, 24, 26, 28.
£30 in with you sir, at £30.
Any advance on £30 to my left?
32, 34.
36, 38.
That's better.
That's better.
Go on.
Come on.
42, 44.
Come on!
46, fresh money.
48.
Get to the 50.
Come on!
50.
55?
One more?
ANNE: It's beautiful.
DAVID: You'll regret it.
60.
Yes!
65, he's determined.
Any advance on £65?
VO: After a woolly start they do get a profit.
Now it's the silver-plated egg cruet set for Thelma and David.
Here we go, here we go, here we go.
This is ours.
Bids in, at £10 is bid, on 239, the egg cruet, £10 is bid.
It's double the money.
12, 14, 16, 18.
20's with you.
22.
Oh... 24.
DAVID: Go on!
People of taste!
At £24.
Any advance on £24?
26, fresh money.
£26.
Good, nice, yeah.
28.
No?
At £26.
Am I all done?
And selling for £26.
VO: A smashing little buy for that team.
Next it's the lovely flutina, Thelma and David's star lot.
Ooh, hang on.
# Why are you going to Scarborough Fair?
# VO: Lovely.
But that's enough of that, thank you girls.
£30 is bid.
At 30.
Any advance on £30?
32, 34, 36, 38, 40, 50.
DAVID: Come on.
And five.
60.
And five.
Come on.
70.
With me at £70.
DAVID: No.
AUCTIONEER: No?
At £70.
Any advance?
75.
At £85 in the far corner.
Get bidding, never mind that!
At £85.
Is that a bid Ray?
AUCTIONEER: 90.
DAVID: That's better.
100.
At £100.
A lady of taste.
VO: Ooh!
It's climbing.
Thelma, tell him.
125.
130.
She's determined.
At £30, at £130.
Come on.
135.
140.
Well done.
Are we all done?
And I shall sell for £140.
VO: Our lovely showgirls lead the saleroom a merry dance and earn a win.
Are you a musician?
No, but I'm gonna learn!
(LAUGHTER) No insult, but it couldn't be any worse!
VO: Ha-ha, everyone's a critic.
And with that spot of audience participation, the curtain falls on this performance.
Come on.
VO: Understudies Anne and Paul started this trip with £400.
After paying auction costs, they made an unfortunate loss of £51.90, leaving them with £348.10.
Bad luck you two.
VO: But Thelma and David are the undisputed stars.
They also started with £400 and managed to secure a handsome profit of £98.22, meaning they finish the road trip with... Let's do the maths now... ..£498.22.
And all the profits generated from the auction will be donated to Children In Need.
Don't worry, we made up for your failing, so it's all OK. Oh, doesn't he put things nicely?
Stop looking so smug!
Paul.
Always a pleasure David.
Absolutely marvelous.
And you two have been just angels.
Thank you so much indeed.
Thank you.
It's been great fun.
VO: Oh, luvvies.
It's been a blast.
(ENGINE REVS) Bye!
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