I have a confession to make I have been obsessed with weddings for as long as I can remember seriously I had a stack of bridal magazines when I was 7 years old so by the time I got that sparkly ring on my finger I was a prime target for the 56 billion dollar-a-year wedding industrial complex which surprise surprise wasn't exactly looking out for our or our parents financial health according to the Knot's yearly survey the average cost of a 2017 wedding in America was a whopping 33 thousand dollars not including the honeymoon that's a down payment on a house y'all you don't have to be a wedding junkie like me to feel the pressure to overspend and even penny-pinchers quickly find their wedding costs spiraling out of control so how can you avoid your nuptials turning into a matri-money pit like most good planning setting goals and boundaries early is the key to success [Music] last year only 10% of couples paid for their entire wedding on their own that means for most people families help foot the bill now family and money can be as volatile a combo as matches and gasoline so make sure you set some boundaries early on have a frank and loving discussion with anyone who might help about how much they'll contribute and what kind of say in the planning that entitles them to before you take that check from uncle Ted you should know whether he thinks he'll get to pick the menu how much money you'll be able to put in depends on your financial situation but make yourself one ironclad promise no debt after years of working with young couples I can't tell you how many start off their lives together with wedding debt shackled around their ankles incredibly 74 percent of couples say they plan to go into debt to pay for wedding costs guys I just I just can't even don't get me wrong weddings are important but unlike a house or education they're not investments so they're not something you should go into debt for the IDFA sites that 22 percent of marriages end in divorce specifically due to financial stress so spending more than you can afford on your wedding may be actually working against the very thing your wedding is supposed to represent that's way more ironic than rain on your wedding day don't you think once you know how much money you have to work with it's time to start budgeting okay let's see there's the cake the dress the invites the save-the-dates food the venue the entertainment the precious handmade bow ties for the doggie ring bearers the rings the favors the photos the videos the flowers the ribbons the chairs the minister the sorry there's virtually no end to the list of things you could spend money on so do yourself a favor and decide what three things are most important to you and focus on them for us it was the food the photos and the music we promised ourselves we wouldn't scrimp on those things but that meant everything else was up for debate for instance you can go digital with your invites of course it would be lovely to have hand-lettered save-the-dates on a hundred pound ecru shimmer wrap but why be precious about something that's gonna end up in the garbage we also ditched the favors I've seen too many receptions where everyone just left their heart-shaped cork coasters on the tables and my personal favourite hack we had a beautiful two-tier handmade cake that served about 30 and Costco cakes for the other hundred I didn't hear any complaints hey if you can afford to go all out on these items that's great but on our budget it wasn't worth compromising the things that we really cared about you can also take respectful advantage of your friends skills and resources maybe you have a sibling who's a baker an aunt who takes great photos or a cousin who's a DJ actually I'm pretty sure everyone has a cousin who's a DJ asking for help in lieu of gifts is a great way to cut costs and honor the talents of the people close to you for example my uncle happens to be a world-class cellist and he was more than happy to play for us of course remember that relying on favors does mean that you can't be as demanding or expect professional grade work if someone is a hobbyist you may be listening to all this in horror thinking how could I possibly scrimp on any of these things this is my special day I'm trying to create a memorable experience well you're not alone while the average guest count is going down the amount spent per guest has increased and spending on custom guest entertainment more than tripled most couples really want to give their guests a truly memorable experience but here's the thing most wedding planners don't want you to know people have poor memories practically everything about your special day will be forgotten sooner than you think uncle Ted won't remember exactly what he had for dinner he'll just remember whether it was served on time your high school friends won't remember what kind of napkins the drinks came with just whether they had to pay for those drinks think about all the weddings you've been to and what details stuck with you having your first glass of champagne a teary-eyed speech by the best man grandma grandpa danced to their favorite song the moments we remember the most often have nothing to do with how much they cost and that's our two cents I told you my favorite wedding hacks now it's your turn share your ideas for how to have a special day without breaking the bank in the comment section [Music]