(melancholy music) - I think one of the hardest parts about (melancholy music) infertility, is just getting your hopes up.

Every single month you think, this is the month, this month we did everything.

I didn't drink alcohol, I didn't drink caffeine, we had the timing exactly perfectly, we did our ovulation predictor kits, and we hit the exact window, and then I sat with my legs up, and we hit the exact window, and we did all the things.

And then I did yoga, and acupuncture, and you just think you can manage this thing.

- You're like here comes the scientific method.

- Yeah (laughing) - You're like here comes the scientific method.

And then it doesn't happen, - You're like here comes the scientific method.

and you're like , am I crazy?

- You're like here comes the scientific method.

We did everything right, and everything looks - You're like here comes the scientific method.

great on paper.

But, I think the hardest part is just having to pick yourself back up because the cycle of, oh my gosh it's gonna work, and then all of a sudden you get your period, and you're pissed and sad, and now I have to go buy tampons even though I wasn't gonna buy any because this was gonna be the month.

It just month over month is just harder and harder to deal with.

- Back before we first started trying to have kids, it was, we would like to travel, we would go out to eat a lot, we had a lot of friends that we would we would go out to eat a lot, hang out with on the weekends, and the usual breweries and ball games, hang out with on the weekends, and trips when we could get away from work.

- All of a sudden it just felt safe enough where were like oh, we have a lot of friends going through this, they're gonna help us figure it out.

And, then just time kept going by, going through this, they're gonna help us figure it out.

and we kept feeling like we were further behind.

- You hear stories from friends that, oh it took us five six months but it happened.

You're getting the usual unhelpful responses they have.

oh it took us five six months but it happened.

Just keep trying, hang in there.

- I didn't know if I would ever be pregnant, but I especially didn't know if we'd ever be able to get pregnant in our own bed.

but I especially didn't know if we'd ever And, that sounds really stupid until you're getting your blood drawn all the time, and you're getting poked with different wands, and getting tied up to all these different devices, and getting tracked all the time, and the process is just so un-sexy.

And you think, god I'd love to just get pregnant with my partner in our bed, in our home.

On our time when we want to.

pregnant with my partner in our bed, in our home.

- But you know, I was really buying into pregnant with my partner in our bed, in our home.

the optimism of the fact that this would work out for us.

'Cause why wouldn't it?

You don't think that there's a problem with anything in life until you are actually You don't think that there's a problem have to confront the problem.

- At our lowest point we had done our first round of IVF and found out - At our lowest point we had done our that our two embryos were chromosomally abnormal, and were not gonna be viable.

After all this money, all this work, all this time, we weren't even gonna get to a transfer.

I always thought maybe this won't work, but I thought it was gonna not work later.

I didn't think it was gonna not work so fast, and when we got that news I was on my way to one of my best friends bridal showers, and I was so un-fun.

I couldn't get over myself, I couldn't be in the moment, and it was a terrible feeling 'cause I felt like I was a bad friend.

and it was a terrible feeling I couldn't be there for her, I was being self absorbed.

And no one really could understand what that felt like at all.

I'm a pretty extroverted open person, and vulnerability is tough.

But it's not as tough for me as a lot of other people, and I just thought god, if I am struggling with this, and I am actively seeking support.

and I just thought god, if I am struggling with this, I have financial resources to deal with this, I have a pretty supportive partner who's awesome, and I have all these things and it's still so hard?

And that was when I thought, this is totally unacceptable.

And that was when I thought, There are millions of people going through this, and just because you feel alone doesn't mean you are alone, and is there a way where we can connect these people.

Wouldn't be cool if there was some kind of service where you could get a fertility mentor.

Wouldn't be cool if there was some kind of Kind of like an alcoholics anonymous, Wouldn't be cool if there was some kind of you could have a sponsor.

It'd be great to have someone who had gone through it, you could have a sponsor.

but wasn't actively going through it anymore.

And then I started thinking about how would this actually work, how would somebody sign up, And then I started thinking about how would this give their information, and then actually be connected to somebody who could really add value, and listen actually be connected to somebody to them in a meaningful way.

- The current state of Fruitful is pretty close to our initial idea that we launched.

- The current state of Fruitful is pretty close We describe it to people as AA meets Tinder, just because that paints a really simplistic picture even though that's not really what it is.

But, it is more like a dating app where you are filling out an extensive profile, and giving a lot of your history and your current situation.

- [Elyse] People sign up, they get an immediate email and giving a lot of your history and your current situation.

saying thanks for signing up, you're now in the cue.

They get an email when they've been matched, saying thanks for signing up, you're now in the cue.

introducing each other to one another, saying thanks for signing up, you're now in the cue.

they get an email 10 day later, hey how's it going?

- Where we diverge from things like Match.com, is that we hand finish all the matches, and that meeting of art and science allows for really high quality matches, because having that human component at the end to say, you know what these two people are a great match in the database, but reading through their profiles, to say, you know what these two people are a great I really don't think they would connect very well.

to say, you know what these two people are a great So, that has been a huge part of our success, is marrying the technology with the common sense of being able to understand what people need.

is marrying the technology with the common sense - We had been up and running for about four months, when all of a sudden it was time for us - We had been up and running for about four months, to have our first frozen embryo transfer.

- We are reading stories both good and bad, to have our first frozen embryo transfer.

of positive and negative outcomes, and it's really hard to put those out of your mind.

- After our first round of IVF hadn't worked in the summer of 2016, we did another round in the fall of 2016.

And, we'd had three genetically normal embryos that we froze.

And, we'd had three genetically normal embryos Fruitful had launched, we were making matches, we were on the news, things were happening, Fruitful had launched, we were making matches, we're getting momentum, we were showing up in different Fruitful had launched, we were making matches, start up showcases and panels, and then all of a sudden It was time for us start up showcases and panels, to take that step, and have our first transfer, and that was a really challenging couple of months to take that step, and have our first transfer, because I didn't wanna get my hopes up.

It was a weird week.

I kept thinking maybe I was pregnant, I was feeling some twinges, and I was calling them lightning bolts.

I was feeling some twinges, and I was calling them But, I wasn't really sure, and I'll never forget it was the day of the But, I wasn't really sure, call that our nurse was giving us, But, I wasn't really sure, and Brad was making a salad for lunch, and I just looked at him and I started crying for no reason, he was like oh my god you're totally pregnant.

I was like no I'm not don't say that, I don't know.

He's like you are, you are, why are you crying right now?

I was like no I'm not don't say that, I don't know.

I couldn't tell him why.

I was like no I'm not don't say that, I don't know.

And then when we got the call, and the nurse said, your HCG is positive, you're pregnant, and I couldn't believe it.

and the nurse said, your HCG is positive, you're pregnant, And then I had a very nervous nine months waiting for the other shoe to drop, and waiting for something to go really wrong.

But, she came and she was great, and waiting for something to go really wrong.

and I held my breath for nine months.

- Abby's been great, Yeah, I mean we always knew we wanted kids, - Abby's been great, and it's been everything that we dreamed it would be and more, and I love spending every minute with her, it would be and more, and shutting that laptop and playing blocks, or reading books, whatever we're doing.

- I think because of my experience, my relationship with Brad and his experiences, I felt very called to create this community.

my relationship with Brad and his experiences, Even if we shut down tomorrow, we've helped 3600 people, and that's good enough and that's awesome.

And it doesn't need to be Facebook, or have some big crazy exit to be successful.

That as it is now, it's enough, and it's just gonna get better and better.

(light upbeat music)