♪♪ >> DOMINIC: SO IT'S NOT GONNA BE CALLED XCEL ENERGY CENTER ANYMORE.

THE MINNESOTA WILD ARE A PERENNIAL PLAYOFF TEAM, WITH RAVENOUS, FREE-SPENDING FANS.

THEY ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE A PROBLEM GETTING SOME OTHER CORPORATE BEHEMOTH TO SLAP ITS NAME ON THEIR LITTLE RINK.

WILLIAMS ARENA?

THE CENTURY-OLD BUILDING IN A CONTINUAL DANCE WITH THE FIRE CODE?

THAT HOSTS A MEN'S BASKETBALL TEAM WITH 154 WINS AND 166 LOSSES IN THE LAST DECADE?

WHERE 4 OUT OF EVERY 10 SEATS IS EMPTY FOR YOUR AVERAGE GAME?

THAT NAMING RIGHTS CONTRACT IS GOING TO BE A LITTLE TOUGHER TO SELL.

HERE'S MY SOLUTION: IT STARTS WITH A REBRAND OF THE ORGANIZATION THAT COORDINATES THE NAME, IMAGE, AND LIKENESS DEALS FOR THE MEN AND WOMEN IN GOPHER SPORTS.

DID YOU KNOW IT'S CALLED DINKYTOWN ATHLETES?

DINKYTOWN ATHLETICS.

OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T, BECAUSE IT'S STUPID.

SO INSTEAD, LET'S GIVE IT A CATCHY, MADE-UP NAME THAT HIGH-BUCK DONORS WON'T BE ABLE TO RESIST.

THAT'LL HELP US BUY BETTER MERCENARIES -- EXCUSE ME -- STUDENT-ATHLETES.

AND IT'LL GIVE US A MONIKER FOR THE ARENA AROUND WHICH WE CAN ALL PROUDLY RALLY.

I FED THIS IDEA INTO AN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE ENGINE, AND BEHOLD.

I GIVE YOU THORBURR ARENA.

HOME OF THE THUNDEROUS GOPHER WARLORDS OF THE FROZEN PLAINS.

IT'S A PLACE WHERE MASCOTS FROM OTHER SCHOOLS MYSTERIOUSLY VANISH INTO THE TUNNEL SYSTEM BENEATH THE FLOORBOARDS.

AND WHERE EVERY VISITING COACH KNOWS, ONCE YOU HEAR THE SCRATCHING, IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE.

YEAH.

IT'S A MILLION-DOLLAR IDEA, WHICH IS WHAT THE GOPHERS THINK THEY CAN GET PER YEAR FOR REPLACING OLD COACH WILLIAMS'S NAME ON THE BARN.

AND I'M GIVING IT AWAY FOR FREE.

WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?

MARK COYLE, GIVE ME A CALL.